Gender parity within- Understanding ‘the woman’
The theme for Women’s International Day 2016 declared by the United Nations, stirred me a lot and I wish, we all reflect on the underlying urgency for declaring such a theme. The theme is “Planet 50-50 by 2030: Step it up for Gender Equality”. This is geared towards accelerating the 2030 Agenda, building momentum for the effective implementation of the new Sustainable Development Goals. (http://www.unwomen.org/en/news/in-focus/international-womens-day#sthash.zDy1p3sx.dpuf)
The World Economic Forum predicted in 2014 that it would take until 2095 to achieve global gender parity. Then one year later in 2015, they estimated that a slowdown in the already glacial pace of progress meant the gender gap wouldn't close entirely until 2133. This portrays the situation not of the women alone, but in particular of the in Sri Lanka world, which is struggling to be a healthy and harmonious entity
Knowing the numerous injustices and sufferings inflicted upon women by outside factors and actors that needs to be addressed for gender parity, I also believe that it is the woman, who is the enemy of herself most of the time, who never knows the ‘freedom’ with which she was created. Freedom needs to be enjoyed from within and nothing else could bring it or give it.
Understanding women- there is an old saying that, ‘It is easy to know the depth of an ocean, but the heart of a woman’. Having accompanied the Lay Associates who mostly are women; working with women from the North to the South in Sri Lanka with different organizations; supporting empowerment programmes among the war victims and having moved with women of different levels and more over being a woman myself, I am seriously pondering on the ‘status’ of women, which is shared for your scrutiny with your own experiences.
The story of Martha and Mary of Bethany, is an eye opener to vividly understand the characteristics of many a woman and two women in particular in this narration. Consider the scene: Jesus visiting their house; Martha is stressed and working hard to prepare the right meal for the guest; Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus, carefree but focused. Martha even complained at Mary’s behavior to Jesus, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to come and help me!’ The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha! You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her.”(Luke 10:40-41)
Here, Martha is definitely doing the right thing of showing her hospitality to the guests. She was preparing ‘for’ Jesus, while Mary is ‘with’ Jesus, building a relationship beyond Martha’s understanding. Jesus’s reply too, validated the action of Mary who has surrendered herself in her entirety to Jesus. This episode has always given the connotation that choosing to become a religious is worthier than being ‘in the world and may be getting married……..but my point here is ‘making a decision for herself within the given context by any woman; is it happening or not.’
In the culture of the Jewish society at that time and even now in most of our communities, there are specified gender roles and especially, women had spatial, social and other boundaries. When men are around, the women are not supposed to be seated among them, but to wait on them. They could be in the kitchen or inner chambers and may listen to the conversation but not customary to give opinions. Yet Mary made her own choice amidst the restrictions, that quenched her thirst for new knowledge and to embrace the truth.
But most of the times I feel, the boundaries the women have forced on themselves, are worse than the patriarchal enforcements. For example, if we take the Lay Associates which has a major component of women, a member would always worry about the routine activities, the household chores and may find enough excuses not to attend a meeting or any other celebration. However much you try to convince, the mental barrier she has forced on herself, restricts her from making a turn, to decide on, what is essential and enjoyable for her. She easily hides behind cultures and customs forgetting about her own ‘identity’ as a ‘soul that is free’ and a ‘creation with a purpose’.
‘Jesus, Mary and Joseph lived a simple family life at Nazareth, thereby sanctifying the ordinary and give it meaning”. (Way of Life, Art.47) Jesus, Mary and Joseph has shown that the ordinary life could become meaningful by ‘Trusting in God’s providence and recognizing His presence in all the joys and sufferings of life’ (Art.54) and the Article continues to emphasize Our Call, ‘ to restore the world to its created purpose, establishing God’s kingdom of justice and peace on earth.’ Justice and peace will not be offered to anyone in a gold platter but need to be fought for, and the women need to fight with themselves to break themselves from the clutter of their own folly, to make the ordinary become extra ordinary in their lives.
The scenario in Martha’s life also changed when Lazarus, their brother died. When she heard that Jesus is approaching Bethany, she ran out to him and confessed that ‘If you had been here, Lord my brother would not have died.’(John 11:21) Mary waited at home and was looking after those who have come to mourn with them. When Martha informed Mary, ’The Teacher is here and he is asking for you. Mary got up and hurried out to meet him.” (John11:28-29) Mary fell in Jesus’ feet and cried. ‘His heart was touched and he was deeply moved’ (John11:33)
The impact a person can make at a given situation differs from person to person. Martha and Mary are good examples of the same; Jesus had to confirm from Martha two times whether she believes in him before he brings Lazarus back to life but he has been touched by Mary’s weeping.
Coming to the point of the barriers the women are forcing on themselves, I also would like to take the war victims, especially the women with whom I have journeyed at different times, as another example. They are mostly at the verge of giving up their identity. They feel they are a ‘nobody’- no feelings for themselves; physically visible but mentally elsewhere; have to drag on for the sake of their children etc. A good percentage of the women, both young and old have lost their own identity which they even do not understand
Empowerment of women, is the hue and cry of the UN, the Governments and even the Non-Governmental Organizations for decades and decades but I am frustrated that everyone mostly is looking at the periphery, providing livelihood support, shelters( for which one of the beneficiary women told that she had to draw 1500 buckets of water from the well to evade paying for labour), savings and credit programmes etc. which are basic necessities for life, yet there is much more that needs to be done in the ‘making of a woman- in creating the space for her to understand and enjoy her own identity.’
Even in the Church and its Institutions, where the boundaries are clearly defined and functional, women seem to be the multitude of obedient devotees and play tertiary and may be secondary roles in the ‘building of the kingdom of God’.
The problem that confronts us today, and which the nearest future need to solve is, how to be one's self and yet in oneness with others, to feel deeply with all human beings and still retain one's own characteristic qualities.
‘Emancipation of women, as stated in Emma Goldman’s Anarchism and Other Essays, should make it possible for woman to be human in the truest sense. Everything within her that craves assertion and activity should reach its fullest expression; all artificial barriers should be broken, and the road towards greater freedom cleared of every trace of centuries of submission and slavery.’
Having celebrated the ‘Resurrection’ of Jesus, I am fascinated by the commercialization of it with the Easter Eggs and Bunnies. The egg, a symbol of life consists of the yolk and the albumin. I am imagining Martha as the albumen and Mary as the yolk. Two different characteristics, closely knit, yet distinct in their roles and choices. Are the women Marthas or Marys? Whom do we prefer a woman to be?
Regina Ramalingam
Continental Leader-Asia